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Aug. 26th, 2011 10:40 amBachelor Night last night, as Cookie had a sleepover at her mother's. I could have gone clubbing all night, have a wild time. I ate cereals in front of Doctor Who instead. Ha, who needs to be wild when they can just chill in front of the telly?! Besides, I can go clubbing pretty much whenever I want to, so.
I needed something sugary to make up for all the intellectual effort I did all day working on my thesis, without a real break outside this time - though I didn't explode, after, all, so there's that.
I'm both happy about how it's going and afraid I might never finish in time. I'm afraid I might not reach the page count required, then worried I might go way over the page count required. Then I feel like I managed to master the subject, right before I start doubting I'll ever be ready for D-Day. I tell myself it won't be a big deal if I fail because it's not as if I had to have this degree, I already have a job and a steady life, but I just know I'll be disappointed if I do because up until fairly recently I didn't really believe I could do it but then I changed my mind and, obviously, the more you believe in something, the harder it is if it doesn't work out. The whole "try and fail but don't fail to try" has a nice ring to it but reality and facts are always a bit different.
It's odd because, technically, I'm not freaking out out or stressing out for real (yet) - I still have a bit of time ahead of me, which helps - but it's like I have all these rational doubts and I'm like "what if it just doesn't work"?
Well. At this point, doubting is pretty much par for the course, I guess? Something I'm 100% certain is that I'm really impatient to defend it so that I can put it behind me. And finally know what I'll do next year. Will I be allowed to keep going? Will I stop? Do something else? Who knows?! #TheSuspenseIsKillingMe
Ok, Sharing Time is over. Back to adding more pages to the damn thing :-)
I needed something sugary to make up for all the intellectual effort I did all day working on my thesis, without a real break outside this time - though I didn't explode, after, all, so there's that.
I'm both happy about how it's going and afraid I might never finish in time. I'm afraid I might not reach the page count required, then worried I might go way over the page count required. Then I feel like I managed to master the subject, right before I start doubting I'll ever be ready for D-Day. I tell myself it won't be a big deal if I fail because it's not as if I had to have this degree, I already have a job and a steady life, but I just know I'll be disappointed if I do because up until fairly recently I didn't really believe I could do it but then I changed my mind and, obviously, the more you believe in something, the harder it is if it doesn't work out. The whole "try and fail but don't fail to try" has a nice ring to it but reality and facts are always a bit different.
It's odd because, technically, I'm not freaking out out or stressing out for real (yet) - I still have a bit of time ahead of me, which helps - but it's like I have all these rational doubts and I'm like "what if it just doesn't work"?
Well. At this point, doubting is pretty much par for the course, I guess? Something I'm 100% certain is that I'm really impatient to defend it so that I can put it behind me. And finally know what I'll do next year. Will I be allowed to keep going? Will I stop? Do something else? Who knows?! #TheSuspenseIsKillingMe
Ok, Sharing Time is over. Back to adding more pages to the damn thing :-)
