castalie | Yattaaa!

Dude. I couldn't resist using that subject :-)

So. I watched Heroes 1x05 and my love for that show? Know no bounds. I love Peter and Hiro more than words can say and the rest of the characters? Make me squee and bounce and they all fill me with glee and I love the whole thing with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. The end.

Something else I enjoyed is that as soon as the episode was over, I was able to finish my fic! That filled me with glee as well, as you can imagine :-) Thanks go to

yami_tai and

frayen for their precious help.

Let's talk business now:

Title: Ripples in the Pond
Pairing: Mohinder/Peter - Heroes fandom in case I wasn't clear enough?
Rating: Let's go with R
Spoilers: Consider that the spoilers go from the pilot through episode 5.
Word Count: around 2730
Genre: future!fic. Might be consider an AU of sorts, too. Depending on your point of view :-)
Summary: What goes through the mind of a man who's about to save the world?

Mohinder stirred in the rumpled bed as he slowly left the land of Morpheus. He didn't open his eyes immediately, just kept them closed and listened to the sounds around him. It had become a reflex over the past few years; this making sure everything was all right before he really came to. Most of the time, he didn't even really notice he did it; it was just one of those things that had become as natural as breathing to him.

He listened to the room around him and relaxed; everything was normal. So far, nothing bad had ever happened here - the loft, lost home in a lost city, was their sanctuary. It was also the reason why they'd chosen this place to do it.

As reality closed in on him and the reasons why they'd gathered at the loft on this particular night invaded his thoughts, he felt tension creep along his spine. He took a deep breath and refused to let responsibilities spoil the moment. Right now, he just wanted to hold Peter and pretend he never had to let go.

He shifted in the bed and, making sure that Peter was still soundly asleep, he spooned behind him, molding his body to the one of his sleeping lover, both men so close that they looked like one. He closed his eyes for a second, shutting his mind to everything that wasn't Peter and him. The only thing he wanted in this brief moment of time was to focus on those precious minutes when things were safe and simple.

Because safe and simple had stopped being his world long ago.

But try as he might, Mohinder couldn’t completely forget what they were about to do. So many doubts, so many questions danced in his mind. A lot of hope too, of course.

He remembered a time when he'd believed that there were no answers to his questions... remembered a time when he'd said those exact words to Peter and it never failed to make him smile now. It was absolutely not funny but how could he not smile at the thought of such naiveté? Or maybe he'd just been disillusioned. That day when he'd properly met Peter Petrelli, he'd felt defeated, ready to give up on his quest. How ironic was it that fate - if he'd ever believed in fate to begin with - had chosen that day as the starting point of it all?

Of course, none of them had known, or even suspected, that their world was going to change dramatically so maybe it was a moot point anyway. Whoever said that what you ignore can't hurt you? Because it was the exact opposite that had happened; ignorance had hurt them all. Ignorance had been their downfall. Hopefully, if the mission succeeded, they could make everything right.

Mohinder was fascinated by the idea behind their plan. He really wished he had a way of seeing it in action... in seeing the chain of reactions come alive.

He thought back to the person he was then... mourning a father he'd been running after all his life, ultimately running after a dream that was to turn into a nightmare. He felt sorry for the past Mohinder but he also held affection for him. Then he thought of the person Peter was. The man who had shared his bed for the past few years was different from the man who had sat in his cab one morning in New York, different from the one who had found his way to his father's apartment some time later. Peter wasn't the same person he used to be then. None of them were, Mohinder knew that - but maybe he hurt the most when he thought of the changes that had touched his lover.

They'd gained a lot and lost more than words could say. They'd found confidence and strength, losing some part of themselves in the process. They'd gained scars and lost the innocence that had been theirs. It was a sad game of give and take. They'd learned to play by the rules. Winning sometimes, losing often. But never admitting defeat. They kept fighting. Always.

And they might be tired, weary, marked - they might be different, colder, harder, but it was all part of the price they had to pay. It was another thing that you just had to accept and learn to live with - take strength in too.

Careful not to wake Peter - they would have to leave the safety and warmth of the bed soon enough - Mohinder ran a hand over the scars that adorned the body he knew as well as his own. Better maybe.

Fingers slid gently over Peter's face first, tracing the long line of the scar that made his lover stand out in a crowd. He was truly marked there. People would remember it, comment on it. Wonder about it. But the story behind it wasn't one that either Peter or Mohinder liked to tell. Just one of those memories you keep hidden, even to yourself if possible. Maybe especially to yourself.

Leaving Peter's face, Mohinder's hand slid to his shoulder. He moved back slightly so that he could see Peter's strong back and he bent forward, brushing his lips over another long scar running almost from shoulder to shoulder. All those scars told a story. Rarely a happy one but at least Peter had lived to tell the tale.

A victory could taste of relief as well as blood sometimes. Often, it could taste of fear and pain. Defeat did as well. Sometimes you didn't really know which one was which. So you shifted your point of view; the only victory was survival. Because at least then you could try again. And again.

It wasn't a happy thought. Just something you had to cling to anyway.

As if he needed some comfort, Mohinder burrowed his face in the crook of Peter's neck and inhaled softly. Peter smelt of sweat and sex and a wonderful mix of his own and Mohinder's scent. It soothed him a little, as it always did.

He stretched lazily and spooned back behind Peter, back to his previous position; his cock nestled against Peter's ass, his arm around Peter's waist, his legs along Peter's, his chest against the strong back. If he had a choice, he wouldn't ever move... he would stay like this for a hundred years and pretend the world had never changed, pretend that they were all the same people they used to be.

Pretend they were just like anybody else. Not different, certainly not special - just normal people with normal lives and normal needs. Pretend he'd never wished to uncover his father's secrets.

Better yet: pretend the scars on Peter's body were the only ones he had... except they both knew it wasn't true. There were the other scars, the ones you couldn't see. The ones that seemed to never heal, or if they did, it was only to reopen after a while, no matter what you did. They were hidden, those scars, buried deep, and yet, sometimes it felt as if they were bleeding all over, staining everything around them.

Mohinder never really knew what to do to stop the bleeding so, when it happened, he just held on tight. So tight that Peter would know he couldn't go anywhere – wasn’t allowed to. So tight that Mohinder could believe that, somehow, he could stop Peter from falling apart.

He startled when he felt a hand squeeze his fingers.

"Thinking scary thoughts, aren't you?" Peter asked in fond amusement.

Mohinder didn’t answer, just kissed the nape of Peter's neck.

"You can't help it, I know." Peter turned in Mohinder's arms, pressing his body against his lover's.

"I wish Nathan was here," he rasped, his voice still not completely healed from their last fight. "I'd take you flying for a little while."

Mohinder smiled at the thought. His hands slipped to Peter's ass, squeezing it playfully; his cock stirred when he remembered what it felt like to be buried deep inside that tight heat. "I think we've proved enough times that we don't need Nathan around to fly, don't you think?"

Peter chuckled a bit at that; the sound both painful and delicious. "Corny."

"But true all the same."

"I can't go against that kind of logic, Professor Suresh."

"Good."

They rocked against each other for a little while but didn't try to turn it into something more. They didn't rush it when their lips met; they shared a long kiss, using lips and tongues to tell each other all those things they didn't have the time to say, and when they'd said it all, they left the bed and, without a word, got ready.

*

They left the bedroom and entered the common room; their headquarters when they were in the loft.

Mohinder looked around and only found two of his companions. So, they weren't all back yet. The others were going to miss the first part of the mission.

Mohinder shrugged; it wasn't really important, he thought - if it worked, they might never know, right? They'd all talked about it many, many times - talked about it for days and nights, only to start all over again. They'd talked about it so much that noone really knew what to believe anymore.

Would their world, this world, the one they were currently living in, vanish? Would it stay the same but somehow create another timeline where nothing ever happened, when their old selves had succeeded? Would they all die? And were you really dead if you were still alive somewhere in another time and space?

They'd decided that it was no use thinking about it too much. They would go with the plan and what happened would happen. The rest was just details, it didn't matter. Or so they kept telling themselves. But for Mohinder it was simple; they'd failed all those times to make it right, to save the world, they wouldn't fail this time.

Now that they'd found the missing piece, found a way of maybe stopping it all before it even started, they weren't going to renounce it due metaphysical questions... Getting a second chance wasn't something that happened often; they were going to grab it and not let go.

Mohinder and Peter stopped in the middle of the room. Matt was looking at them, a hard look on his face. Mohinder sometimes longed for the days when the other man was still learning how to control his abilities; with more or less success depending on the circumstances. As embarrassing as it had been to have someone privy to your most intimate thoughts, in particular during some of the most intimate moments you could share with your lover, it also had been an endless source of amusement to see Matt blush and squirm, even hours after the 'event' or suffer from spontaneous arousal at the most inappropriate times. The good side had been that it'd ended up being an even great motivator for Matt who just had enough with the whole situation.

The trials of errors and embarrassment were behind them. Now Matt only ever chose to listen - he controlled his abilities, they didn't control him.

In the years that followed the period when they'd all learned about themselves and each other, as the ties between them grew tighter and the situation around them grew more desperate, Peter and Mohinder had sometimes allowed Matt to share their intimacy through their link.

It wasn't about sex... it actually transcended sexual orientations as Matt had never been interested in either of them that way. It was about comfort, about need. When Matt's sense of isolation and loneliness got too overwhelming, they would welcome a part of him in their circle of two. They never really talked about it afterwards. There was no need.

Matt raised an eyebrow at Mohinder, who shook his head indicating everything was fine. Matt nodded at him and turned his attention back to Hiro who'd stepped toward Peter.

Mohinder watched Peter watching Hiro. This was it, the moment they'd all been waiting for. He was excited. Afraid. Hopeful. He caught Matt glancing at him again but with a little smile on his face this time and he managed to smile back. He supposed he was projecting pretty strongly.

A movement startled him out of his reverie. He brought his attention back to the two men in the centre of the room. He knew Hiro had just come back from visiting Ando's grave. He went there as often as possible; more so lately.

Mohinder knew that the thought of going back, even for a moment, to a time when everything was different was bringing back a lot of memories. The biggest of all had to be the memory of another Hiro. One that had died as effectively as Peter had died.

Mohinder stared at his friend; the other man looked so dark, and not just because of his black clothes or his long hair severely tied in a tight ponytail; this Hiro was cool, confident. Strong and hard. He didn't laugh like he used to, didn't believe in the magic world of comics and science-fiction. This Hiro knew how to kill. Knew how to watch others die.

Mohinder couldn't help the twinge in his heart. Sometimes it felt as if, years after, he was still mourning their loss.

"Remember," Peter said, breaking the silence, "I look different then. I am different."

An amused smile tugged at Hiro's lips; they'd talked about the details a million times already. "Yes, I know, Peter. I will remember."

Peter didn't say anything for a little while, maybe thinking of his old self who was going to have his world turned upside down. Mohinder couldn't be sure. There were so many things that went through their minds all the time.

He guessed the only one who could really know was Matt.

He realized his own mind was taking another tangent and forced himself to focus on the here and now. He looked at Peter and Hiro again... Peter's hand came to his face as if to brush an errant strand of hair behind his ear and Mohinder's heart beat a little faster at the move. It felt like a scene from the past.

But Peter didn't seem to have noticed, his eyes were on Hiro, intense and dark. "You'll have to be quick," he reminded his friend.

Hiro nodded. "I hope you won't be too stubborn," he said, "or too skeptical."

Peter shrugged. "Sometimes it feels like I can't remember how I was. Not in details. You might have to improvise."

Hiro adjusted the katana that rarely left him these days. "I'll do that too if needs be."

"Okay." Again silence fell upon them. But it wasn't a bad one.

Then Peter, who was still facing Hiro, raised a hand to face level, separated his fingers in a perfect imitation of the Vulcan salutation and, in a perfect Japanese, wished Hiro good luck in his mission, a gentle smile on his face.

The move was so unexpected that Hiro's eyes widened for a second; it felt like an eternity since they'd felt carefree enough to joke like that. And even longer since Hiro had amused himself by teaching some Japanese sentences to his new friends. Then he laughed; a brief but loud and honest laugh and all of a sudden the air felt less heavy around them.

Mohinder was struck by the thought that everything was going to be okay; that it would all work out just fine. One way or another.

The moment passed but Mohinder didn't care. He'd touched victory for a little moment and he'd remember the sensation. He watched as Hiro bowed to them; there would be no real goodbyes, no farewells. They didn't want it, maybe didn't even need it.

Coming up behind his lover, Mohinder slipped his arms around Peter's waist, holding him tight. Peter's fingers entwined with his own and they both looked at Hiro for maybe the last time in this reality.

"Remember," Hiro said, his mind already turned to another place, another time, "save the cheerleader... save the world." Then he closed his eyes, his face serene, before he faded away and disappeared from the room...

Fin

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

greedy_dancer

oh my, i haven't even read this, but i watched the ep and just posted about it, and as i was watching that first scene with Peter & Mohinder on the subway i was going 'omg, i hope this is what

castalie needed to finish her fic!'

so i'm very happy to see this. more when i've read it *g*

From:

greedy_dancer

aaaand that was great! it's fun watching you trying to talk about things without actually talking about them ... lol

loved the intimacy btw Peter and Mohinder, and the pov. obviously Mohinder is the brain you want to get into for detailed analysis and commentary!

and the questions of time-travelling are fascinating, aren't they. same with Time Traveller's Wife, actually. parallel realities and times ... it's all quite mind-boggling.

in short, nicely done! i look forward to reading more in that fandom, there's so much potential!

From:

greedy_dancer

also, two suggestions, even though i'm not a native speaker: seems to me that grammatically, Because safe and simple had stopped ~~to be~~ being his world long ago makes more sense.

and in: Of course none of them had known, or even suspected, that their world was going to change dramatically so maybe it was a moot point, anyway. it seems to me that if "none" is referring to Peter and Mohinder, you can use "neither" instead ...

:)

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You Don't Go to Hell for a Being a Lesbian or a Slasher. Only for Being Lame

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