New Fic - Numb3rs
Feb. 9th, 2007 11:59 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
castalieSo the other day I watched N3 3x14 "Take Out" and I loved the episode so much that right after I'd closed the file, I was writing a little missing scene! When the muse speaks to you like that, it's pure joy :-)
Title: Cast the Shadow of Your Burden Behind You
Pairing: Don/Charlie
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1900+
Summary: What decided Don to take that step at the end of "Take Out"
Spoilers: technically for "Take Out" since it's a missing scene.
Thanks go to my fairy beta,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
starwatcher307, who always helps improve my stories *kisses*
When Don opened the door of his apartment, he realized he wasn’t alone. In two strides he was in his living room, smiling at the sight that welcomed him. The familiar scene never failed to make him feel good; Charlie was sitting on the floor, the coffee table almost disappearing under a stack of books and papers, and he was scribbling furiously in a notebook.
“Hey, Charlie.”
“Hey.” Charlie didn’t look up immediately; he finished adding the last figure of his - equation, formula, whatever it was that he was working on at the moment - and only then did he raise his head. He smiled at Don. “I left you a message, hope it’s okay if I crash here? I thought I’d give Dad and Millie a chance to,” he made a little face, “well, I’m not sure I want to think about that, but, you know...”
“How selfless of you, Chuck.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Don watched fondly as his brother’s hands added some emphasis on the words.
“And for the record,” Don said, stepping towards Charlie and gazing down at him seriously, “you don’t have to get my permission to come here, all right?”
Charlie’s eyes softened. “I know. I mean, I thought you’d say that.”
“Mi casa es su casa, Charlie.”
“What about your bed?"
“Oh,” Don leered at his brother, “I was definitely thinking of my bed.”
Charlie chuckled. “Good.” He sat down on the couch, never taking his eyes off his brother.
Don removed his jacket and threw it over the back of the armchair. He turned to head to the kitchen when Charlie stopped him by clearing his throat. Don watched as Charlie bent down and grabbed a bottle of beer.
“Here. It’s cold.”
His eyes on the beer that Charlie was handing to him, he accepted it with a soft ‘than you’. Then Don looked at his brother questioningly.
Charlie shrugged. “I saw you park your car.”
There was no way Charlie could have seen it from his position on the floor, and they both knew it.
“You were waiting for me.”
“Aren’t I always?”
“Charlie.”
“Megan called me. She told me what happened at the school. I knew you were busy so I didn’t want to bother you, but I just wanted to be here when you came home.”
Don cupped the nape of Charlie’s neck and squeezed. “Thanks.”
Charlie just gave him one of his little smiles, but it was clear he was happy about his decision to be here for Don.
“So were you just pretending to be working when I came in, then?” Don asked, making himself comfortable in the armchair.
“Oh, no.” Charlie leaned back on the couch. “When I saw you park the car and I saw the pattern of the other cars, it made me think of something and, well, I just needed to write it down.”
Don nodded; yes, that was definitely a very Charlie moment.
“So, is everything okay?”
Don sipped at his beer before answering. “The case is closed if that’s you’re asking.”
“Well, that’s good, of course, but that’s not what I meant.”
Leaning back, head resting on the top of the armchair, Don looked at Charlie. “Did I decide to see the shrink?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know, Charlie. I’m not even sure he likes me very much.”
“He’s supposed to be a professional, Don; I’m sure whatever you said or did won’t matter.”
A little smile appeared on Don’s face. “So you assume it’s something I said, don’t you, buddy?”
“Oh, sorry, was I supposed to think he’d taken a dislike to you as soon as he saw your face, for no good reason? I’m a lot of things, but I’m not stupid. Or did you forget?” Charlie teased.
“Heaven forbid.” Don took another mouthful.
“So?” Charlie asked again.
“I don’t know.” And he didn’t. He didn’t know whether it would be a good thing or not. He did feel shaken and angry and, yeah, a bit lost, but would anything really help him? He had no idea.
“I think you should.” Charlie’s voice was both hesitant and a little forceful. One day Don would have to ask him how he achieved that effect. You were supposed to be one or the other, not both. Except for Charlie, apparently.
“Did you hear me?” A pause, which Don refused to answer. “Are you pissed?” Was that anxiety he could hear in Charlie’s voice? If so, it served him right; couldn’t the whole conversation fucking wait?
So Don didn’t try to reassure Charlie, and anyway, yeah, he was a bit pissed off now. He put the beer on the floor in a deliberate, slow movement; he felt like he would explode if he didn’t pay attention. “Why should I, huh? My brother, who also happens to be my lover, thinks I should see a shrink because I’m, what, a basket case?”
“That’s not what I said,” came the quiet reply.
“God, and can you see our first session?” Don snapped, leaning forward aggressively. “‘Why yes, I do have a brother. He’s younger than I am. Oh, yeah, I love him. A little too much if you get my meaning. I fuck him every chance I get.’ Right, the bozo will just lap it up!” He covered his eyes with his hand, suddenly feeling even more uneasy. He hadn’t even thought of that.
Silence met his little outburst. Or almost silence; he could hear the slide of papers being gathered. Charlie was getting his stuff together. Don lowered his hand and stared at his brother.
“What are you doing?” he asked wearily.
Charlie put his hands on the table, looking defeated. “I don’t know.”
“Welcome to the club.”
At least the quip relaxed the atmosphere a little.
Don couldn’t stay still any longer. He stood, and hesitated between turning his back on Charlie or getting closer to him. Charlie was staring at him, expectantly. What he expected though, was anyone’s guess.
“I’m a mess.” It sounded like the kind of confession that belonged to the dark. He felt a little too exposed right now. He also knew it was stupid. This was Charlie. His brother would never judge him. Never condemn him.
“So what if you are?” Charlie asked softly. As if things were that simple.
But things weren’t simple. He didn’t offer any answer. Just watched Charlie watching him. This could last a long time.
“Are you... are you afraid of me sometimes?”
“What?” Charlie sounded stunned and, if he were honest, Don was too. He hadn’t planned on saying this.
“No!” Charlie stood up and, without hesitation, stepped right into Don’s personal space. “No, never, Don.”
Don passed a hand over his face before running it through his hair. “It’s just that sometimes I’m in such a dark place, and I’d hate myself if you were afraid of me.”
“I’m not afraid of you.” Charlie was frowning, as if the simple concept of him being afraid of his brother was so incredible or ridiculous that it was just inconceivable, and thus a true mystery to him. He pressed a hand to Don’s chest. “I’m not, okay?”
“Yeah, okay, buddy.” Don bent his head and brushed his cheek against Charlie’s, loving the sensation of his brother’s five o’clock shadow scrapping against his skin. He nuzzled him for a while, not speaking.
Charlie let him take comfort however he wanted, speaking softly to him, and Don slowly relaxed in his brother’s embrace. Charlie’s arms were wrapped around Don’s waist, hands running up and down the taut back.
Don felt Charlie shiver a little when his lips grazed the base of his jaw, mapping Charlie’s skin. When Don’s tongue licked his lips, Charlie opened his mouth and kissed his brother; softly, unhurriedly at first, then more aggressively when Don got a little more demanding. It was need, pure and simple need on Don’s part, but Charlie was an eager and willing participant in this game, as always.
Don breathed Charlie’s name against his lips before kissing the side of Charlie’s face, needing the simple contact, his hands curled around the slender hips.
“Do you believe me, Don?” Charlie whispered, nipping Don’s earlobe. “I’m never afraid of you. Never; never, ever.” He repeated the words in a new mantra, as if they were the most important thing in his life.
For a moment, the only sounds in the room were Charlie’s quiet words and the soft rustle of hands against clothes, the sounds of kisses on warm skin, of wet lips meeting each other... Don sighed and breathed in his brother. He was finally home.
“I’m just afraid for you,” Charlie finally admitted, his voice breaking a little as it always did when he was upset about something. “Afraid because I know I can’t help you.”
Don frowned. “Hey now, why do you say that?”
“Because it’s the truth?” Charlie’s hands squeezed Don’s waist before he took a step back. “I try to help. I want to, but I understand that you can’t talk to me about certain things.”
“I thought you hated it.” Don knew it upset Charlie.
“I do.” The answer was immediate. “Just because I understand doesn’t mean I like it. I just wish things were different, that I was different, maybe.”
“You already are.” Don’s voice was teasing now, trying to alleviate the atmosphere.
“I mean, different... like, in a more normal way?”
“What scares me is that what you’re saying actually makes sense.” Don lifted Charlie’s hands to his lips and kissed an open palm, becoming serious again. “You do help me.”
Charlie bowed minutely, as if to thank Don for the praise. But he wasn’t giving in. “Not the way you really need, though.”
Don’s hand on Charlie’s tightened. “That’s not true.”
“But it is!” Charlie disengaged himself gently from Don’s grasp, giving them the distance necessary for a serious discussion. “And I told you, I understand, okay? Or I’m trying my hardest to but, Don, I just... I know you. I know how you always - I don’t know - shoulder everyone’s burdens and... what?” Charlie asked when Don’s chuckle interrupted him.
“Nothing.” Don’s eyes crinkled. “You just sound like Dad, that’s all.”
“Well, Dad kinda knows you too, remember? And he’s often right.”
“I guess.”
“I’m just saying, I know how you always take responsibility for everything and everyone. I know you want to shelter me and protect me. I love you for that, I really do, Don. It drives me crazy, but it’s part of you and,” he gave a little disparaging shrug, “you accept enough of my quirks, after all. But I just want you to be able to take the load off your shoulders, and if you can’t do that with me, then, please, pick someone else.”
Don took a step toward Charlie, hands reaching to his face. “I’m sorry, Charlie.”
Charlie shook his head softly. “No reason to be.”
“I want to tell you all those things, I do.”
“I know.” Charlie’s voice was low and confident, soothing Don with each word.
“But I can’t. It’s just so... so ugly, I don’t want that to touch you. ”
“I know,” Charlie assured him in a calming murmur. He grasped Don’s collar and, very slowly, as if time was extending, giving them forever together, he drew Don’s face toward his own. Don let himself be kissed again, savoring the taste of his brother, the feel of him.
“Please, Don, let me help you the only way I can?”
Don nodded, head burrowed in the crook of Charlie’s neck.
“Yeah, okay; I’ll go.”
Fin
Title comes from a quote by Samuel Smiles.
Title: Cast the Shadow of Your Burden Behind You
Pairing: Don/Charlie
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1900+
Summary: What decided Don to take that step at the end of "Take Out"
Spoilers: technically for "Take Out" since it's a missing scene.
Thanks go to my fairy beta,
starwatcher307, who always helps improve my stories *kisses*When Don opened the door of his apartment, he realized he wasn’t alone. In two strides he was in his living room, smiling at the sight that welcomed him. The familiar scene never failed to make him feel good; Charlie was sitting on the floor, the coffee table almost disappearing under a stack of books and papers, and he was scribbling furiously in a notebook.
“Hey, Charlie.”
“Hey.” Charlie didn’t look up immediately; he finished adding the last figure of his - equation, formula, whatever it was that he was working on at the moment - and only then did he raise his head. He smiled at Don. “I left you a message, hope it’s okay if I crash here? I thought I’d give Dad and Millie a chance to,” he made a little face, “well, I’m not sure I want to think about that, but, you know...”
“How selfless of you, Chuck.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Don watched fondly as his brother’s hands added some emphasis on the words.
“And for the record,” Don said, stepping towards Charlie and gazing down at him seriously, “you don’t have to get my permission to come here, all right?”
Charlie’s eyes softened. “I know. I mean, I thought you’d say that.”
“Mi casa es su casa, Charlie.”
“What about your bed?"
“Oh,” Don leered at his brother, “I was definitely thinking of my bed.”
Charlie chuckled. “Good.” He sat down on the couch, never taking his eyes off his brother.
Don removed his jacket and threw it over the back of the armchair. He turned to head to the kitchen when Charlie stopped him by clearing his throat. Don watched as Charlie bent down and grabbed a bottle of beer.
“Here. It’s cold.”
His eyes on the beer that Charlie was handing to him, he accepted it with a soft ‘than you’. Then Don looked at his brother questioningly.
Charlie shrugged. “I saw you park your car.”
There was no way Charlie could have seen it from his position on the floor, and they both knew it.
“You were waiting for me.”
“Aren’t I always?”
“Charlie.”
“Megan called me. She told me what happened at the school. I knew you were busy so I didn’t want to bother you, but I just wanted to be here when you came home.”
Don cupped the nape of Charlie’s neck and squeezed. “Thanks.”
Charlie just gave him one of his little smiles, but it was clear he was happy about his decision to be here for Don.
“So were you just pretending to be working when I came in, then?” Don asked, making himself comfortable in the armchair.
“Oh, no.” Charlie leaned back on the couch. “When I saw you park the car and I saw the pattern of the other cars, it made me think of something and, well, I just needed to write it down.”
Don nodded; yes, that was definitely a very Charlie moment.
“So, is everything okay?”
Don sipped at his beer before answering. “The case is closed if that’s you’re asking.”
“Well, that’s good, of course, but that’s not what I meant.”
Leaning back, head resting on the top of the armchair, Don looked at Charlie. “Did I decide to see the shrink?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know, Charlie. I’m not even sure he likes me very much.”
“He’s supposed to be a professional, Don; I’m sure whatever you said or did won’t matter.”
A little smile appeared on Don’s face. “So you assume it’s something I said, don’t you, buddy?”
“Oh, sorry, was I supposed to think he’d taken a dislike to you as soon as he saw your face, for no good reason? I’m a lot of things, but I’m not stupid. Or did you forget?” Charlie teased.
“Heaven forbid.” Don took another mouthful.
“So?” Charlie asked again.
“I don’t know.” And he didn’t. He didn’t know whether it would be a good thing or not. He did feel shaken and angry and, yeah, a bit lost, but would anything really help him? He had no idea.
“I think you should.” Charlie’s voice was both hesitant and a little forceful. One day Don would have to ask him how he achieved that effect. You were supposed to be one or the other, not both. Except for Charlie, apparently.
“Did you hear me?” A pause, which Don refused to answer. “Are you pissed?” Was that anxiety he could hear in Charlie’s voice? If so, it served him right; couldn’t the whole conversation fucking wait?
So Don didn’t try to reassure Charlie, and anyway, yeah, he was a bit pissed off now. He put the beer on the floor in a deliberate, slow movement; he felt like he would explode if he didn’t pay attention. “Why should I, huh? My brother, who also happens to be my lover, thinks I should see a shrink because I’m, what, a basket case?”
“That’s not what I said,” came the quiet reply.
“God, and can you see our first session?” Don snapped, leaning forward aggressively. “‘Why yes, I do have a brother. He’s younger than I am. Oh, yeah, I love him. A little too much if you get my meaning. I fuck him every chance I get.’ Right, the bozo will just lap it up!” He covered his eyes with his hand, suddenly feeling even more uneasy. He hadn’t even thought of that.
Silence met his little outburst. Or almost silence; he could hear the slide of papers being gathered. Charlie was getting his stuff together. Don lowered his hand and stared at his brother.
“What are you doing?” he asked wearily.
Charlie put his hands on the table, looking defeated. “I don’t know.”
“Welcome to the club.”
At least the quip relaxed the atmosphere a little.
Don couldn’t stay still any longer. He stood, and hesitated between turning his back on Charlie or getting closer to him. Charlie was staring at him, expectantly. What he expected though, was anyone’s guess.
“I’m a mess.” It sounded like the kind of confession that belonged to the dark. He felt a little too exposed right now. He also knew it was stupid. This was Charlie. His brother would never judge him. Never condemn him.
“So what if you are?” Charlie asked softly. As if things were that simple.
But things weren’t simple. He didn’t offer any answer. Just watched Charlie watching him. This could last a long time.
“Are you... are you afraid of me sometimes?”
“What?” Charlie sounded stunned and, if he were honest, Don was too. He hadn’t planned on saying this.
“No!” Charlie stood up and, without hesitation, stepped right into Don’s personal space. “No, never, Don.”
Don passed a hand over his face before running it through his hair. “It’s just that sometimes I’m in such a dark place, and I’d hate myself if you were afraid of me.”
“I’m not afraid of you.” Charlie was frowning, as if the simple concept of him being afraid of his brother was so incredible or ridiculous that it was just inconceivable, and thus a true mystery to him. He pressed a hand to Don’s chest. “I’m not, okay?”
“Yeah, okay, buddy.” Don bent his head and brushed his cheek against Charlie’s, loving the sensation of his brother’s five o’clock shadow scrapping against his skin. He nuzzled him for a while, not speaking.
Charlie let him take comfort however he wanted, speaking softly to him, and Don slowly relaxed in his brother’s embrace. Charlie’s arms were wrapped around Don’s waist, hands running up and down the taut back.
Don felt Charlie shiver a little when his lips grazed the base of his jaw, mapping Charlie’s skin. When Don’s tongue licked his lips, Charlie opened his mouth and kissed his brother; softly, unhurriedly at first, then more aggressively when Don got a little more demanding. It was need, pure and simple need on Don’s part, but Charlie was an eager and willing participant in this game, as always.
Don breathed Charlie’s name against his lips before kissing the side of Charlie’s face, needing the simple contact, his hands curled around the slender hips.
“Do you believe me, Don?” Charlie whispered, nipping Don’s earlobe. “I’m never afraid of you. Never; never, ever.” He repeated the words in a new mantra, as if they were the most important thing in his life.
For a moment, the only sounds in the room were Charlie’s quiet words and the soft rustle of hands against clothes, the sounds of kisses on warm skin, of wet lips meeting each other... Don sighed and breathed in his brother. He was finally home.
“I’m just afraid for you,” Charlie finally admitted, his voice breaking a little as it always did when he was upset about something. “Afraid because I know I can’t help you.”
Don frowned. “Hey now, why do you say that?”
“Because it’s the truth?” Charlie’s hands squeezed Don’s waist before he took a step back. “I try to help. I want to, but I understand that you can’t talk to me about certain things.”
“I thought you hated it.” Don knew it upset Charlie.
“I do.” The answer was immediate. “Just because I understand doesn’t mean I like it. I just wish things were different, that I was different, maybe.”
“You already are.” Don’s voice was teasing now, trying to alleviate the atmosphere.
“I mean, different... like, in a more normal way?”
“What scares me is that what you’re saying actually makes sense.” Don lifted Charlie’s hands to his lips and kissed an open palm, becoming serious again. “You do help me.”
Charlie bowed minutely, as if to thank Don for the praise. But he wasn’t giving in. “Not the way you really need, though.”
Don’s hand on Charlie’s tightened. “That’s not true.”
“But it is!” Charlie disengaged himself gently from Don’s grasp, giving them the distance necessary for a serious discussion. “And I told you, I understand, okay? Or I’m trying my hardest to but, Don, I just... I know you. I know how you always - I don’t know - shoulder everyone’s burdens and... what?” Charlie asked when Don’s chuckle interrupted him.
“Nothing.” Don’s eyes crinkled. “You just sound like Dad, that’s all.”
“Well, Dad kinda knows you too, remember? And he’s often right.”
“I guess.”
“I’m just saying, I know how you always take responsibility for everything and everyone. I know you want to shelter me and protect me. I love you for that, I really do, Don. It drives me crazy, but it’s part of you and,” he gave a little disparaging shrug, “you accept enough of my quirks, after all. But I just want you to be able to take the load off your shoulders, and if you can’t do that with me, then, please, pick someone else.”
Don took a step toward Charlie, hands reaching to his face. “I’m sorry, Charlie.”
Charlie shook his head softly. “No reason to be.”
“I want to tell you all those things, I do.”
“I know.” Charlie’s voice was low and confident, soothing Don with each word.
“But I can’t. It’s just so... so ugly, I don’t want that to touch you. ”
“I know,” Charlie assured him in a calming murmur. He grasped Don’s collar and, very slowly, as if time was extending, giving them forever together, he drew Don’s face toward his own. Don let himself be kissed again, savoring the taste of his brother, the feel of him.
“Please, Don, let me help you the only way I can?”
Don nodded, head burrowed in the crook of Charlie’s neck.
“Yeah, okay; I’ll go.”
Fin
Title comes from a quote by Samuel Smiles.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-02-09 01:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-12 10:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-09 02:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-12 10:38 am (UTC)Thanks for the feedback, glad you liked the fic *g*
no subject
Date: 2007-02-09 03:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-12 10:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-09 04:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-12 10:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-09 10:24 pm (UTC)HA! OMG, I want that
episodefic! *g*This is wonderful. Oh boys, how I love. ♥
no subject
Date: 2007-02-12 10:40 am (UTC)Thank you for the feedback; so glad you enjoyed the fic!
no subject
Date: 2007-02-10 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-12 10:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-11 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-12 10:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-02-14 03:59 pm (UTC)I thought I’d give Dad and Millie a chance to,” he made a little face, “well, I’m not sure I want to think about that, but, you know...”
I love your Charlie in this, he's so...Charlielike. Sure of himself with some things, passing off others. I can just see him sitting there, looking up as he talks.
“I think you should.” Charlie’s voice was both hesitant and a little forceful. One day Don would have to ask him how he achieved that effect. You were supposed to be one or the other, not both. Except for Charlie, apparently.
Because Charlie's special, in the good way.
“I’m a mess.” It sounded like the kind of confession that belonged to the dark. He felt a little too exposed right now. He also knew it was stupid. This was Charlie. His brother would never judge him. Never condemn him.
Poor Don! I ache for him, thank goodness he has Charlie, who doesn't care about those dark moments.
“But I can’t. It’s just so... so ugly, I don’t want that to touch you. ”
Man, he just loves him so much. It's lovely to see, though I can see how it would frustrate Charlie.
Great job!
no subject
Date: 2007-02-18 03:28 pm (UTC)And yeah Don is going through a lot these days, isn't he? *pets him*
Thanks for the feedback, sis, did I mention it's always a pleasure? Oh yeah, a hundred and sixty nine times, my bad lol
no subject
Date: 2007-02-17 10:34 pm (UTC)J'adore lorsque Charlie lui dit qu'il regrette qu'il ne puisse pas l'aider mais le fait qu'il l'oriente vers le thérapiste c'est grandiose. Don qui veut protéger Charlie aussi de son côté dark j'adore, j'était carrément en trippe dans cet épisode et ta fic me donne furieusement envie d'aller le revoir!
Ta fic est vraiment brillante comme d'habitude!
no subject
Date: 2007-02-18 03:31 pm (UTC)Lol C'est la meilleure explication que je vois, en tout cas :-)
J'ai trouvé ça super touchant l'idée que Charlie reconnaisse ses limites quand il s'agit d'aider son frangin mais qu'il ne laisse pas rebuter par ça; il aide Don comme il peut et même s'il aimerait que les choses soient différentes, il agit pour Don.
Ta fic est vraiment brillante comme d'habitude!
Merci pour le compliment !
no subject
Date: 2007-02-18 04:44 pm (UTC)Tu peux la trouver sur Numb3rs slash cette fic la seconde part : "patch work"