castalie | (no subject)

The funeral was this morning - everyone left ten minutes ago, the house is quiet once more. Well almost, I have my godfather, aunt and assorted cousins here but it's a Small Clan compared to the Big One of this morning. Also, would you believe that priest arrived an hour late? We were all there, Family and Friends waiting in the church and the priest? Wasn't. Because he "didn't know there was a funeral today" as he told us when he finally appeared at 11.00 am instead of 10.00 am - after an uncle practically kidnapped him from his fucking house. Which btw, the whole "I didn't know it was today?" Was a big fat lie and er, isn't there something in the Bible about not lying? And in a church, too. Wow.

But well, my grandfather was not a religious person - at all - and we all thought it was so fitting, you know? That the priest would totally mess it up. My cousins and I all agreed that wherever he is, pépé must have laughed his ass off this morning and we could hear him go "I told you so" - it didn't make us laugh per se this morning, but we really thought it was amusing - in a twisted kind of way.

Also, the ceremony was pretty dull. I don't want to be mean towards the priest but it felt as if he had no idea as to what he was supposed to say, which come to think of it might not have been so far off base. It was impersonal and just so not my grandfather - it could have been laughable. I say could because in those moments, you're not laughing. But my dad - my mom couldn't talk nor my godfather or us - made a speech and he summed up my grandfather's life and his love for his family wonderfully, he talked about everything pépé taught his children and grandchildren and suddenly, everything made sense. My dad is the best. It wasn't easy for him either - he loved and respected my grandfather a lot - but he was wonderful and made a beautiful tribute to his father-in-law. He ended the ceremony with a poem we'd chosen called "De l'Autre Côté du Chemin" which is a very simple but very powerful poem and then we said our final goodbye.

I won't go into details, funerals are... what they are. Heartbreaking, exhausting, emotionally draining, but it's also a moment of intense love because there were all those people who came for pépé himself - family, friends or neighbhours - sometimes coming from the south of France just for him, but there also were those who didn't know him that well - they did but not as intimately as direct family - but came out of respect and love for my mom and us like family members on my father's side - cousins, aunts and uncles etc... It just - it warms your heart, know what I mean?

And the flowers! You should have seen the flowers... His grave - which he shares with my grandmother and it was quite powerful seeing them reunited, too - was full of them, there wasn't enough room. It's - how to describe it, it's sad because it's a grave but beautiful too, doest it make sense?

So anyway. It's over now and I feel exhausted but I breathe better already - quite literally, too. We're going to have a quiet evening and then... well, we'll have to learn to live without him. That's how it goes. But hey, I have plan for this weekend, already. I'll go and see Serenity with the French Posse on Sunday. Then maybe a little Starbucks - as we're wont to do. And if Henry and I feel like it tomorrow, we might go to the Kaamelott cast signing.

moimoietmoi, is it too late to organise it with you?

Once again, thanks to all those who commented or sent mails and such for their support *hugs*

PS: Also wanted to wish belated birthdays to

lemone,

improperlydone

saladscream and

hypertwink and an on-time birthday to

sparky77 *hugs you all*

PS2: Today is also my dad's birthday... poor papa *holds tight*